The Splodz Blogz Christmas Message 2022
There seems to be a rather lovely trend this year of people choosing to buy wonky Christmas trees. That is, Christmas trees – from farms, garden centres, or even supermarkets – that might not live up to the perfect, symmetrical, lush shape that we are told Christmas trees should have.
I really like it. I mean, nothing in nature is ever perfectly symmetrical, right? Take this gorgeous specimen spotted on Burbank Fell last weekend, as an example. So why should we be worried about perfection when it comes to decorating our houses for Christmas?
With that, and inspired by my colleague who accidentally ended up with a wonky tree – his Christmas bush – thanks to buying pre-netted from Lidl (which ended up going viral!), I bring you this year’s annual Splodz Blogz Christmas message.
On Being Wonky
Did you know that wonky has three possible meanings? Normally we use it to mean crooked or out of alignment. But it can equally be used to mean shaky or unsteady, or something that is not functioning properly or normally. I mean, by that last definition, I can definitely describe myself as being a bit wonky. But it’s not from a lack of trying…
The opposite to being wonky therefore has to be perfection. Wanting things to be just-so is not necessarily a bad thing. It can be hugely self-motivating, driving you to put in the effort, overcome adversity, and ultimately enable you to achieve success. Or, the nicest looking Christmas tree you’ve ever had!
But when perfectionism turns unhealthy, it can be a fast track to unhappiness, self-inflicted pressure to avoid disappointment and cruel judgment from others. And even if we don’t consciously strive for perfection on purpose, wanting things to be ‘just right’ in order to please family, get a promotion, increase likes/reach, or complete everything on that to do list, can be overwhelming.
And… did you know that a desire to avoid wonkiness at all costs can lead to even more wonkiness? I’m talking procrastination, avoiding adventure and challenge, an all-or-nothing mindset, toxic positivity, and even an avoidance of creativity? A determined abstention from wonkiness removes the fun from life!
The Benefits of Imperfection
As tends to happen when I get fixated on an idea like this, I asked the internet for help (did you read my piece on motivation?). It threw an inordinate number of articles and papers (and random quotes) at me that back up this idea that being a bit wonky – being imperfect – is a benefit, not a negative trait.
Embracing wonkiness isn’t about lowering your standards, or not caring about yourself and the things and people around you. Rather, it’s about intentionally relaxing your internal monologue and seeing the good in the humanness of existence.
Here are five clear and important benefits of being wonky from my browsing I thought I would share in my Christmas message today:
You’ll be Happier
Embracing the wonky, crooked, unaligned, and slightly flawed parts of life can make you happier. You are, quite simply, less worried and stressed when you are okay with things being a little rough around the edges. It’s easy to carry a lot of emotional baggage when you’re trying to make sure everything is 100% perfect all the time – leading you to never be content with what you have. Embracing imperfection makes you happier.
You’ll be Nicer!
Not only will you be happier yourself, but you’ll also be a nicer human. This is because you won’t be so quick to judge others by some ridiculously impossible standards you’ve set for yourself, and will be less likely to get frustrated (or angry…) when things don’t go quite right. This is great for other people, but also for you. Relationships with family and friends, as well as interactions with other people and things, will be calmer and much more rewarding. And if that’s not a good reason to be a bit wonky, I don’t know what is!
You’ll be Less Scared to Try
One of the most cited background reasons for being a perfectionist is a fear of failure. Aiming for nothing less than excellence can very easily lead to not trying at all. Intentionally embracing wonkiness means that the idea of failure becomes a natural part of living a fun and fulfilled life. Wonky people don’t take success or failure personally – they see it as an opportunity to learn, and as such, aren’t afraid to try.
You’ll be more Confident
Accepting your wonkiness – you know, the flaws and quirks that make you human – means you are less likely to be hard on yourself when you make a mistake. My reading told me that perfectionists are harsh critics, and as such can have very fragile self-esteem. A negative comment from someone, or comparing your attempt at something to that of an expert, can be crushing. Instead, embracing imperfection means you are less likely to feel humiliated when you get something wrong, and therefore are a much more confident person in general.
You’ll be an Inspiration
If people who embrace their wonkiness and don’t worry about perfection are happy, nice, unafraid, and confident, then they are also people to be inspired by. Gracefully accepting life as it comes makes you someone that others will naturally look up to and admire. Aiming to be an inspiration almost certainly leads to the negative side of perfectionism, but if it comes as the natural outcome of relaxing into life as it comes, then that has to be one of the coolest results of wonkiness available.
Happy Wonky Christmas
I guess what I’m trying to say in all this waffle, is that a wonky Christmas – an imperfect Christmas – is a great Christmas. And a wonky life is a really great life. You know, in a round-about kind of way!
I hope that whatever you are doing over the Christmas period, whether your Christmas tree is a wonky bush laden with mismatched decorations, or it’s a perfectly symmetrical specimen with faultlessly placed and complementary baubles, that you will find time for the truly important things this season. Time, love and inner joy come to us thanks to the smallest of decisions, the quickest of conversations, and the simplest of traditions.
And if it all gets a bit too much, if perfect takes over the fun, please take a moment – in your living room or on top of a hill somewhere – for some deep breaths and calming thoughts, to remember what Christmas and life are supposed to be about; being a good person, loving one another, and making time for the people, places and things that matter most to you.
I wish you an imperfectly perfect Christmas, full of time, love and a real sense of inner joy.
I’ve been sharing thoughts like these on Christmas Day since I decided that if the Queen and Prime Minister could have one, so could I… Back to normal outdoor adventure and random life posts next week!