posted in: Personal | 13

Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.

Calling someone fat won’t make you any thinner.

Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter.

Ruining someone else’s day won’t make yours any better.

The Stable, Bristol - Candles for Theme

Wow the internet is full of so much negativity! I mean, I know it always has been, but at the moment it seems worse than ever. And it’s right there in the the forefront, not hidden in the darkened depths of the world wide web. Thankfully I’ve not been directly affected by it, not much anyway, but I see others receive comments that are so mean – just down right rude. I see comments on the way people look, on the way people write, on their photography, on what food people are eating (meat, no meat, milk, cake…), and on pretty much every other topic you could possibly converse on.

And it’s not just trolls. Yes, some horrible people will set up accounts online with the sole purpose of brining other people down. Just nasty. But often it’s “normal” people doing the commenting, perhaps saying something that seems like an easy throwaway and dare I say even helpful thing; “oh I don’t like that jumper on you” or “you really don’t suit a red lip”. Those things can be incredibly hurtful to the person on the receiving end (who might really love a red lipstick!). Try and remember that negative comments say more about the person making them than the person they are meant for.

You all know the saying “if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything” phrase. It’s great advice. You’ll also know the other one – “don’t feed the trolls” – which is so difficult but so important; just leave the nasty comments alone without responding so as not to offer them a platform for further mouthy-ness.  It’s all very silent though, isn’t it. I don’t know about you, but it’s very difficult to stay silent!


The fact is that you cannot make yourself feel better by hurting someone else’s feelings. The best and only way to help yourself is to help others, so use your words and actions to be kind and lift someone up. There is something we can all be doing to help counter all this online negativity, something which can do loudly… 

GET IN THERE FIRST with something nice, something positive, something that will make the recipient smile.

That’s it, it’s so simple, but it absolutely works. Go right ahead, straight after reading this post, and pay someone an unsolicited compliment. Don’t wait for them to ask a question (the haters certainly don’t!), just say something nice. Tell someone that you think they look great, give their photo a like and comment, share their blog post with your followers. Do it now!


Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.

Calling someone fat won’t make you any thinner.

Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter.

Ruining someone else’s day won’t make yours any better.

Don’t waste your energy hating on someone else.

Life is all about the journey. Be the fuel for someone else’s flame. Now. 

13 Responses

  1. Elaine (Sassy)

    What a great post and one which is so relevant in todays society! I hope many read this and take heed 😉 Thanks for sharing Zoe 🙂 xx

  2. Shybiker

    You’re so right. People who say mean things hate part of themselves and believe if they make others miserable it will someway help them feel better. But it doesn’t. And it spreads misery. I avoid that and, like you, try to create kindness and joy in life.

    • Splodz

      Spot on Ally, definitely agree with you there. The only thing we can do is be positive ourselves, try and out do them with our niceness.

  3. Jacqui

    I am knew to this website, but I am thrilled to have found it.
    I so agree with you, life is hard enough without people just’ letting their mouths speak without really thinking, or worse getting enjoyment out of it. Maybe it’s partly how they have been brought up, ( in a Negative household), but still that’s no excuse. Just 1 negative response can hurt in so many different ways & sometimes for a long time.
    Wouldn’t it be nice if people treated each other with dignity, just as l was brought up ” if you can’t think of something nice to say, then don’t speak” At the end of the day, it will be better to think & be kind.

    • Splodz

      Hi Jacqui and thanks for stopping by and commenting, glad you like my blog. You could be right there, nasty people must have a reason, it’s a shame they can’t see past that and start to be nicer. All we can do is our bit – nice comments, don’t feed the trolls.

  4. Katy

    Well said!
    I’ve never managed to get my head around why some people think it’s ok to leave negative/mean/abusive comments for complete strangers, just because it’s “on the internet”. I’d bet that most trolls wouldn’t go around hurling abuse at random strangers in real life

    • Splodz

      I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there. This isn’t something that happens face to face anywhere near as much, people are quite happy to hide behind their computer and be nasty. I always advise people using social media to never say anything they wouldn’t say in a crowded pub.

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